Pete Wentz loves his girlfriend, Ashlee Simpson, so much so that he is engaging in a legal battle with a band that is making fun of her botched "Saturday Night Live" performance. The heavy metal band, Neurosonic, have a song, "So Many People," that makes fun of the singer's lip-synching snafu and at a concert at the Knitting Factory Wednesday night, encouraged the concert-goers to dance a "jig" during their performance. Wentz has dispatched a cease-and-desist request to the band, leaving me to wonder how on earth I've avoided getting one of these since my whole existence is based on making fun of other people--especially Ashlee Simpson. In fact, I'm pretty sure these pictures might be from a karaoke contest Pete was judging recently. Didn't he stop to think that that might be an insensitive move in the face of his girlfriend's infamous attempt at karaoke? See, Pete? It's just so easy to accidentally make fun of her...

Photos: Getty Images

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Despite a few reports claiming Linda Hogan wants to work things out, documents make it clear what she wants following the divorce. A share of the Hogan’s two multi-million dollar estates and alimony and child support for their son, Speed Racer Speed Killer Speed Coma-er? Nick Hogan.

The marital assets that need to be equitably divided include the nearly 17,000-square-foot mansion in Belleair where the family lives and a 3,474-square-foot home on Clearwater Beach.

Pinellas County records place the market value of the Belleair mansion at more than $7.2 million and the Clearwater house at more than $2.2 million. The Bolleas also have a condominium under construction in Las Vegas.

Nick Hogan is turning 18 next year and he’s still in trouble for putting his friend in a coma. Footage of his mom encouraging drag racing was recently unearthed. Why a judge would give custody of Nick to Linda is beyond me. Unless it’s to form a life endangering drag racing duo to save the world from nefarious pedestrians one innocent bystander at a time. Come to think of it, that would be a clever move. For too long have we suffered under the iron fist of people using the crosswalk.

Before I forget, here’s their more muscular son in a bikini. If this was Sparta, they would have kept Brooke and thrown Nick off a cliff.

• Linda Hogan is divorcing (0)
• Linda Hogan is a bad influence (1)
• In other news (0)
• Brooke Hogan's music video (37)
• Brooke Hogan will never be hot (2)

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